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Post by Hera Lirambar on Apr 24, 2005 0:09:23 GMT -5
I started these things in seventh grade, and haven't done one in a while. I've been meaning to pick it back up.
Here's the basic formula:
1. Put it in a script-like format.
2. Insert yourself and your closest friends in the story, but as alter egos (this was the origin of Hera and Suki)
3. Have your characters quote movies and stuff, insult each other, and spout nonsense.
4. Don't give it a plot.
5. Alright, you can give it a plot, but they have to spend the majority of the fic goofing off and not get around to the plot until the end, and they must get it over with quickly.
6. Use running gags.
7. All the characters besides you and your friends must be someone else's (Vegeta and Bulma from Dragon Ball Z used to be in it) or real people (some dead presidents used to be in it), but be sure to give credit where needed.
I wish I could find a sample. I'll post it if I do.
I should probably mention that chapters end at really weird intervals because I always declare each page in my notebook to be a chapter, and that's where I write the things first.
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Post by Hera Lirambar on Sept 7, 2005 16:17:51 GMT -5
Warning! Contains mild spoilers for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Suki, Chris, and I all belong to ourselves. Also, the historical dudes (and other real people) belong to themselves, but I tend to think of them as the 1776 musical representations of themselves. Everyone else belongs to someone else, so I have listed the shows or whatever that they are from. Also, every character in the Cray-Zee stories are quite inacurate versions of themselves.
Here is the cast list for this installment:
The Big Boss Women
Hera
Suki
Major Characters
Chris
Vegeta
Bulma (both from Dragonball Z)
Erik (The Phantom of the Opera, at least I think that's his real name)
Thomas Jefferson
John Adams
Harry Potter
Draco Malfoy (both from, er, Harry Potter)
Appearances Also By
Moody
Lucius (both from Harry Potter)
Floyd
Janice (both from the Muppet Show)
Hypno (from Pokemon)
Daffy (from Looney Tunes)
Cameos
Slughorn (from Harry Potter)
Strong Bad
Strong Sad
Strong Mad (all from homestarrunner.com)
Animal (from the Muppet show)
Jesus Christ
Billywitchdoctor.com (from Aqua Teen Hunger Force)
Mentioned
Judas Iscariot
Bustopher Jones (from Cats the musical)
Justin Timberlake
Dallas Winston (from the Outsiders)
Homestar Runner
The Cheat (both from homestarrunner.com)
A whole bunch of guys from the Continental Congress
Martha Jefferson
Zircon (from Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon)
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Post by Hera Lirambar on Sept 7, 2005 16:26:41 GMT -5
*Mad-Eye Moody is sitting on his couch, shaped like a pair of dark green lips (sold to him by Lucius Malfoy as a bribe long ago, which he drunkenly accepted) holding a wand with both hands. He cocks it like a shotgun*
Erik- *Walks up beside him* I'M THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!
Moody- AAH!
Hera- *Appears on his other side* CONSTANT VIGILANCE!
Moody- Get out, both of you!
The Author- Aw, but I've never done Cray-Zee stories with Harry Potter characters.
Mody- Why don't you go torture the death eaters?
Suki- *who also appeared* Okay! Meanwhile, you can chill with the blasphemers, Judas Iscariot and John Adams.
Moody- Okay, I kind of understand the Judas part, but-
Hera- They're blasphemers because they don't like these stories.
Moody- That's not blasphemy, that's... sanity!
Suki- Exactly.
*Cut to next scene. Dramatic music plays.*
Suki- I thought we took away your organ, Erik?
Erik- Hera's boyfriend gave me a new one.
Chris- Don't blame me. I was trying to drop it on him.
Vegeta- Wheee! Murder die and die and crush!
Bulma- Guess who got found the secret candy supply?
Suki- Your mom?
Vegeta- zomg so tasty.
Bulma- Dude, you ate the wrappers.
Vegeta- Your mom eats wrappers.
Bulma- Hate you all.
Hera- Group hug!
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Post by Hera Lirambar on Sept 7, 2005 16:35:53 GMT -5
*Everyone hugs*
Chris- Who's feeling me up?
Hera- Not me! *Proceeds to raid through the wallet she pulled out of Chris' pocket* Hey, cool. A two-dollar bill.
Suki- Actually, that's the actual Thomas Jefferson. I got tired of him catering to our whims, so I magick'd him into the Money version of himself.
Hera- Wasn't Thomas Jefferson my slave?
Chris- When did this come to be?
Suki- Some time after the Short-Tall Wars.
Hera- And that's a tale for another time.
Vegeta- I remember how it went. Justin Timberlake was the Boy Band Prince and he killed Dallas Winston.
Chris- Did they blow up the Death Star?
Vegeta- No, they partied till Dawn... told them to stop.
*Bulma puts duct tape over Vegeta's mouth*
Chris- But it was getting good.
Hera- Let's watch Homestar Runner instead.
Strong Bad- No, let's watch me!
Strong Sad- I know you'll never watch me.
Strong Mad- WATCH ME!
Animal- This my kinda guy!
Floyd- Back, Animal!
Hera- What the crap? How is everyone fitting in this one room?
Janice- Like, I think it's the same logic which allows pokemon to fit in pokeballs, fer sure.
Hypno- You called?
Daffy- Thcrew you!
Hypno- Biter!
Daffy- Drama queen!
Hypno- Lesbian!
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Post by Hera Lirambar on Sept 7, 2005 16:43:36 GMT -5
Daffy- Communitht!
Suki- You guys are just throwing out random insults, aren't you?
Hypno- Slasher! Huh? - oh, yeah, probably.
Daffy- *Whispers* Trekkie.
Hera- I resemble those last two insults. *Pause* And maybe the one before it.
Vegeta- And the one before that?
Hera- Oh, totally. And as you can plainly see... *points to Chris* Nothing gets me hot like a woman with a mustache.
Floyd- I'm a woman.
Janice- Shut up.
Floyd- But being Hera's boyfriend is the sweetest gig ever! You don't have to read the rules for this joint!
Janice- You're already with me. Furthermore, Hera already has Chris.
Floyd- Stop oppressing me with your reasoning, pig.
*Janice dispatches Floyd very messily with an ice cream scoop*
Chris- Orrrr, you could've let the moths get him.
Janice- Crap, I shouldn't have killed him. I can't play both parts in our next duet.
Hera- Here, I'll rewind.
*Rewind*
Dinosaur- Rawr.
Hera- Too far.
*Fast forward*
Jesus- Hello, I'm here to take good peoples to heaven. Say, have you met my good friends, the four horsemen of the apocalypse?
Horsemen #3- I'm the cute one.
Suki- Oh, for heaven's sake. Let me have that thing.
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Post by Crazy Chris on Sept 7, 2005 23:52:33 GMT -5
Chris: I AM NOT A WOMAN!
Strong Mad: YOU ARE NOT ME! *grabs Chris by the shirt and throws him out the window*
Chris: We apologize for this interruption. We now return you to your regularly scheduled bullshit.
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Post by Hera Lirambar on Sept 8, 2005 8:25:08 GMT -5
Vegeta- Waitaminute, he's not a- but you said- but he- but Floyd- but-
*Pats Vegeta on the head*
Ow! Spikey!
Chapter the next to come soon.
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Post by Hera Lirambar on Sept 8, 2005 8:57:14 GMT -5
*Grabs the remote and fast forwards it to before Floyd declares himself a woman*
Floyd- I'm-
Hera- *Clamps her hand over his mouth*
Floyd- I'm a woman.
Hera- Dambit! How didyou did that?
Floyd- Hello? Puppet?
Janice- I've got it! Floyd, shut up. And by that, I mean quit talking.
Floyd- *Holds up sign saying* Blast these infaalible boyfriend-girlfriend-slavery laws.
*Janice and Floyd leave*
Strong Bad- ...So I said, that's not a green-striped rabbit with two butts, that's the Cheat!
All- Hahahaha.
Strong Mad- HA HA HA HA- I DON'T GET IT.
Thomas- I want booty!
Hera- Son of a crap! How'd you get out?
Thomas- I don't knooooow.
Hera- Jefferson, please go to your room.
Thomas- Wife, first.
Hera- *Glares*
Thomas- *Blank look* I will obey. *Wanders in another room*
Bulma- Is anybody going to tell him that the broom closet?
Chris- He'll be fine. I left some pornographic magazines in there to keep him entertained.
Hera- I can't decide whether that was a stupid move or not.
Thomas- *Muffled* Whoa, look at the knockers on Suki!
Suki- Stupid. Hera, I am going to kill your boyfriend.
Hera- Not my prob.
Suki- I still have the remote.
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Post by Hera Lirambar on Sept 8, 2005 8:57:44 GMT -5
zomg cliff hangerz!1!
BTW, in chapter the next, no we've never done that. You'll know what I'm talking about when I post. My notebook's all the way in the other room.
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Post by Hera Lirambar on Sept 8, 2005 22:24:57 GMT -5
Hera- Drat! Thomas, getcherself out here and keep Suki from killing Chris.
Chris- Wait! I'm your slave, right? Why can't you just tell me to stop my getting killd?
Suki- Because I'm the one trying to kill you, and since I'm one of the Big Boss Women, I trump you.
Erik- Then shouldn't you trump Thomas as well?
*Everyone's heads explode... not because of the issue of defying logic, but because no one could believe Erik asked an intellectual question*
Adams- *Enters* I can't hear myself rant! What's going on in he- OMIGOD! *Kneels down next to Thomas* I can't believe he borrowed my coat without asking! *Summones Billywitchdoctor.com to revive them all, then punches Thomas in the stomach, and then exits*
Thomas- Owww.
Vegeta- Hey, how come Thomas is on first-name basis, but Adams isn't?
The Author- Because I keep forgetting to write "Jefferson."
Suki- *Snatches Jefferson's magazines* There's no pictures of me in any of these! In fact, these are all pictures from Sailor Moon! *Pause* Hera, you are a bad influence.
Hera- How do you know I was the one who got Chris into the whole Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon thing?
Suki- Hell if I know. You probably roleplay as the senshi or something.
Chris- No. But we did use Zircon as a sex toy.
Suki- LA LA LA I AM IN MY HAPPY PLACE.
Vegeta- My happy place has padded walls.
Chris- omg mine too.
Vegeta- omg.
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Post by Hera Lirambar on Sept 8, 2005 22:29:28 GMT -5
p.s. Chris, I don't know your stance on Sailor Moon. I had take some liberties. No, I didn't have to, but I write what I think of and don't change it because I wrote it in pen.
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Post by Hera Lirambar on Sept 8, 2005 22:38:02 GMT -5
Bulma- Er... omgwtfbbq?
All- LOL!
Jefferson- *Kisses Suki*
Suki- Aw, I know you're lonely, but if you do that again, I'll eviscerate you with your own declaration.
Hera- Kinky!
Suki- What is wrong with you!?
Hera- Hi, I'm Kettle.
Suki- Ner, I know we're both insane. I mean specific-Lee.
Hera- *Pulls out couch and lies on it* Well, it all started when I was nine months old.
Suki- And vhat happened zen?
Hera- I was born.
Suki- Er.
Hera- I'm just kidding.
Suki- You mean it started later than that?
Hera- No, I'm kidding about being born. I was created by divine intervention... in a lab.
Suki- Take these pills. They will be good for you.
Hera- These are candy.
Suki- So?
Hera- They're not even pill-esque! They're fricking Twizzlers!
Suki- Stop complaining!
Hera- No! *Eats Twizzlers*
Twizzler- My spine!
Hera- *Shoves a couple on her incisors* I am the walrus.
Slughorn- No, I am!
Harry Potter- That is so true.
Slughorn- I have a cat named Bustopher Jones.
Vegeta- What's with all the cameos?
Chris- I unlocked the door.
All- Why?
Chris- To let in the creepy Michael Jackson lookalike.
Hera- What? You let Voldemort in? No! Bad! *Hits him
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Post by Hera Lirambar on Sept 8, 2005 22:45:08 GMT -5
with a frying pan*
Chris- What was that for?
Hera- We're not done planning Voldie's surprise party yet.
Chris- But a frying pan?
Hera- That's how we brand 'round these parts.
Chris- But did you have to put nails and spikes on it?
Bulma- Weren't we supposed to go bug some death eaters?
Vegeta- Nuts to that. I want to see Floyd 'n Janice's duet. I hear they're going to be playing "They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard."
Bulma- Really.
Vegeta- Ben Franklin told me so.
Hera- Er, yeah, we didn't bring Franklin to the present day.
Vegeta- He was on Bulma's ten dollar bill.
Hera- But Alexander Ha-
Vegeta- He was hiding next to the building.
Bulma- Waitaminute, how did you get a hold of my money?
Vegeta- And that's how I got the money.
Bulma- You have to give an explanation before you conclude it, genius.
Erik- Hey look, it's Lucius Malfoy!
Lucius- Nance!
Hera- *Giggle* Oh, let me use your cane.
Lucius- Here. *Hands it to her*
Hera- *giggleblush* Thank you. *Curtsies, then turns around and whacks Jefferson with it* Stop goosing me! *Hands cane back to Lucius, giggling*
Lucius- My work here is done. *Stands with one fist raised into the air* Whoosh! Um... come on... whoosh.
Suki- You know, if you sink to the bottom, you can run to the shore.
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Post by Hera Lirambar on Sept 8, 2005 22:49:40 GMT -5
p.s. Cray-Zeeness is not quite the same as genuine insanity, although what distinctions there are have long been lost.
p.p.s. Blame Chi Chi from Dragon Ball Z for the frying pan business.
p.p.p.s. the last line in chapter seven is from the Simpsons, and I use it whenever I have a solution to any type of problem.
p.p.p.s damnit, I just realized I don't know what "resemble that remark" (or as Hera said in chapter 3, insult) means. I thought it meant "am similar to."
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